what sort of woman burns herself on the iron?

owbuggeryowww! i’ve also burned myself on the cooker and shut my fingers in the washing machine & dishwasher recently.. next i’ll slice my hand off while trying to make my boyfriend dinner! it’s like my clumsy body is a hardcore feminist or something and doesn’t want me to fulfil my natural womanly duties. i will be a good housewife, dammit! anyone got a fire-retardant, padded, knife-proof body-suit lying around? get in touch.